Let’s get right down to it—America loves debt. In fact, according to a recent study, the average US household owes $15, 112 in credit card debt, $146,215 in mortgage debt, and $31,240 in student loan debt. And although these numbers are massive, they’re surprisingly falling at a decrease of 3.2% since last year.
Yet these numbers are nothing compared to what The United States government owes.
The United States government is in debt to the tune of over $19,000,000,000,000.
That’s trillion.
Yes… America is fucked.
Now, if you’re like me, you find these numbers to be somewhat interesting.
But yeah: you’re not here for that… you’re here to be entertained! And here it is…
Aside from spending money we don’t have, the USA also has an obsession with celebrities.
So let’s pair the two together!
Whether they blew all their money or were never even rich to begin with, here’s to those who ended up being worth less than zero!
Lindsay Lohan
SURPRISE! Bitch is broke! But hey—rehab is expensive, right? She owes $900,000 in back taxes and the IRS actually seized her bank accounts.
But I have a solution for Lindsay, and it’s called making a porno. In fact, I will even help her make one (and hell, yes I’m wearing a condom!).
Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson is pretty awesome. He was once married to Robin Givens, he was great in The Hangover, and, oh, yeah—he even bit Evander Holyfield’s ear off like it was a piece of pizza!
Raking in more than $300 million dollars through fighting (beginning in 1985) and endorsements (long-live Mike Tyson’s Punchout), Tyson spent it all by 2003 and was $27 million in debt.
But Tyson has bounced back to some degree, as he’s been in a few movies and even starred in his one-man show that was directed by Spike Lee. And the two have more creative ventures in the works, including a film about the boxer titled ‘Undisputed’.
Thomas Jefferson
Yes—we’ve got a US President on the list. After his death, all of Jefferson’s possessions (including Monticello and his 120 slaves) were auctioned off to pay his $107,000 debt (that was a lot of money back in 1826!).
And I should add that other Presidents have since filed for bankruptcy, including Lincoln, Grant and McKinley.
MC Hammer
Back in 1991, Hammer was worth $33 million, and a mere three years later he was $14 million in debt. That’s a swing of $47 million, and in the amount of three years, that’s like spending $42,922 A DAY!
How many pairs of gold pants did this guy need to shuffle back and forth in? Apparently, lots! He also owned a mansion worth $30 million—complete with a 17-car garage and a bowling alley.
CORNY JOKE ALERT: Singing Can’t Touch This won’t deter debt collectors.
Pamela Anderson
Need a Roommate?
The only thing larger than Anderson’s breasts are… well… her debt. Pamela recently owed over $1.1 million in both back taxes and to numerous construction companies that renovated her Malibu house.
And this is what Anderson did (and I’m being 100% serious): she put her house up on the market and moved herself and her two sons into a nearby trailer park. Apparently, David Hasselhoff’s spare bedroom is full of empty beer cans.
Rembrandt
Back in 1656, at the age of 50, famed Dutch artist Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn declared bankruptcy due to his love of buying antiques, art, and other expensive items.
Over the next few years, the Rembrandt’s artwork, antiques, and even his home were sold to help pay the debts. And despite continuing to paint, because of debt laws, he was unable to sell his work directly—he actually had to have his son sell his art for him.
Jose Canseco
Arguably the most popular baseball player during the second half of the 1980s, Canseco made $45 million over the course of his baseball career. But after two costly divorces, legal issues, and having his 7,400-square foot Southern California home foreclosed on in 2008, Jose filed for bankruptcy in 2012.
It’s a shame his steroid use didn’t work on his bank account!
Kim Basinger
Back in 1989, in a joint venture, Basigner paid $20 million to BUY the town of Braselton, Georgia (a town of less than 8,000 people) in hopes of making it a tourist attraction.
But in 1993, she was sued for $8 million for pulling out of a contract (to star in the film Boxing Helena) and had to file bankruptcy. She ended up selling her stake in Braselton for a mere $1 million dollars.
For some money, Kim Basinger Gives Batman a ‘Batjob’…
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens lost the majority of his money when he invested in a Paige Compositor—an automatic typesetting device that never worked correctly and thus made him broker than fuck. As a result, in 1894, Twain filed bankruptcy, but promised to pay off the debts.
He traveled Europe and lectured for money. His public speaking gig was so financially fruitful that he did, in fact, pay back his creditors, proving that a pauper can become a prince.
Henry Ford
Back in 1899, Henry Ford began the Detroit Motor Company, but over the next two years, he only produced 20 cars (Ford claims it was because he’s a perfectionist—seriously). Two years later, he filed bankruptcy.
Fast forward to 1903, where Henry founded The Ford Motor Company—and the rest is history.
Courtney Love
In 2001, Love discovered that members of late-husband Kurt Cobain’s posse stole almost $20 million from the Nirvana front man.
Addicted to drugs, Love was thrown out of her West Village townhouse after attempting to set it on fire. Almost broke, Love sold her 25% stake in Nirvana’s music catalogue to pay off her debts, but was more recently sued by American Express in the amount of $350,000 for money owed.
Willie Nelson
Back in 1990, Nelson owed almost $17 million to the IRS due to incorrect tax deductions filed over the previous twenty years. The IRS seized his bank accounts and property holdings in six states.
To pay the government, Willie released a double-album, humorously titled The IRS Tapes: Who’ll Buy My Memories? By 1993, Nelson’s debts were paid and he even settled out of court after he sued the accounting firm that landed him in the tax mess.
Antoine Walker
Although less known than others on this list, I had to include Walker, because he squandered the $110 million he made during his NBA playing career and declared bankruptcy back in 2010.
He claims the majority of the money was lost as a result of bad real estate investments that occurred during the financial crisis, though he also cited he spent millions on his posse of 10-15 people.
Antoine even had to sell his Miami Heat 2006 Championship ring to help pay off his debts, but the good news is Walker claims he’s currently debt-free.
Broke-ish???
“It’s OK, Bitch – Maybe You Can Go Live With Pamela Anderson…”
Donald Trump
When we think of Donald Trump, a few things come to mind—bad hair, bad attitude, hot daughter—and oh, yeah—MONEY!
But get this—Trump has filed corporate bankruptcy four times: 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009. Despite this, the guy is still worth round 2.7 billion dollars. What an asshole!
Walt Disney
At the tender age of 21, the eventual father of Mickey Mouse failed at Laugh-O-Gram—an animation studio he had formed. As a result of his investors pulling out of the company, Walt had no funds and had no choice but to file bankruptcy.
But as we both know, Disney was down but not out, for he later created the Disney brand we all know and hate.
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